The Long View

In her response to my last post IrunbecauseILoveFood said she needed a dose of my patience and pragmatism. My immediate reaction was: "so do I".

What I think and how I feel are not necessarily the same. Many times I can be clear in my understanding and come-up with good plans but fail to follow through because of conflicts between my emotional and rational selves. One part of the brain can be calm about accepting frustrations and know that all action should be based on recognising where you are any one time and starting from there. However another part wails and laments. It is ashamed and embarrassed at being slower, weaker, more sluggish, and heavier than it thinks is proper. It resents not being what it wants to be.

"How has it got to this?" is a question I keep asking as I compare myself to how I was when I was doing things better; or "how can they be so much better?" as I compare myself to others . I know these are questions from despair and I know they have to be put aside but in the dark moments, when you aren't doing as much as you want or feel you ought to do, they cling very tight.

It is particularly difficult with running because it is all about the process; all about keeping going. When a run has finished all that matters is that you get out the next day (whenever that next day is on your schedule). If you don't all the achievements and good work of your previous runs are quickly wasted as you cannot preserve conditioning. If you stop you degrade. So time of injury or prolonged periods of 'can't be arsed' are damaging.

However the wonder of running is that it is about renewal. You can always start again, build-up fitness and rediscover all of the pleasure. Those dark days will then be forgotten. It is like weather and climate. A few days of unseasonable cold and wet do not signify much; all that matters is the overall pattern

So the underlying philosophy of this blog is that if you are running long, take the long view.