Oh how I hate management bollocks. It is an incubus that ravages our language, inhibiting thought and shriveling the imagination. The other day I had to produce a document with the word ‘synergies’ in it. I had no choice – I was presented a template for a marketing sheet and I had to use it as a heading. Ha I thought, as I wrote my empty phrases, what can you expect from a company that is proud of its new ‘transactional input/output centre’ (I think it’s a fancy warehouse but I am not 100% sure).
A close relative is the company slogan. Mostly they are incredibly smug, as if they are trying to show they are clever. However when I see a delivery van with the slogan “Delivering Quality” I groan. My favourite might be Lockheed Martin (who produce military equipment, which they sell around the world) with their “We never forget who we’re working for”. It sounds scary and I know they are not working for me. Another arms manufacture, our own BAE, is obviously staffed by idealistic hippies because they are “Innovating for a safer world”. That is really reassuring.
I like it when a slogan has real meaning, “Never knowingly undersold” would be a good example. I also like the lineage, as a slogan is no more than the motto on a coat of arms.
I thought about this today because the guardian carried a picture of Mark Lewis Francis in his Birchfield Harriers vest. Their crest carries the motto ‘Fleet and Free’. I did not feel at all cynical or grumpy when I noticed it, instead I thought it a wonderfully neat encapsulation of what you can find in running (providing, of course, that fleet is used in a relative sense).
You see a motto or a slogan can be good. It does not have to be bollocks.
I was pleased the example I saw came from running.
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